Giving and receiving feedback

Feedback is information about how a piece of work or a behavior is going. It is not a verdict on the person. Strong learners learn to give feedback that is specific, kind and helpful, and to receive feedback without flinching. The trick is to remember that the goal of feedback is growth — for the work, for the giver and for the receiver.

Four Kinds of Feedback (and what they are FOR)

Not all feedback does the same job. Knowing the purpose of each kind helps you give the right one at the right moment, and helps you read what someone is offering you.

• Praise — names what already worked, so the giver keeps doing it. Purpose: encourage and reinforce a strength.
• Corrective — names one specific thing to change, with a clear next step. Purpose: improve the next attempt.
• Peer — given between equals, friend to friend. Purpose: a second pair of eyes before a final version.
• Self — your own brain reviewing your own work. Purpose: notice your own pattern before anyone else has to point it out.

Giving Feedback: the Praise-Improve-Encourage Sandwich

Good feedback is a sandwich. Praise opens the listener’s ears. Improve gets the work done. Encourage closes the conversation kindly so the relationship stays healthy. Each layer is short, specific and honest — never fake.

1. Praise — name ONE thing that worked: I liked how you opened with a question.
2. Improve — name ONE specific change: next time, try giving one example after the question so the reader can picture it.
3. Encourage — close with confidence: you are nearly there — keep going.

Receiving Feedback: Listen, Pause, Thank, Reflect, Adjust

When feedback lands on you, your first job is not to defend yourself. Your first job is to understand. A simple five-step flow keeps you from going defensive and helps you get the most out of every comment.

1. Listen — eyes up, mouth closed, hear the whole comment before reacting.
2. Pause — take one breath before you speak. The pause kills the urge to argue.
3. Thank — say thanks for telling me, even if you disagree. It costs you nothing and keeps the door open.
4. Reflect — ask yourself: what fits? What does not? What part of this is true?
5. Adjust — pick ONE specific change you will make on your next attempt. Write it down.

Three Tests for Good Feedback

Whether you are giving or receiving feedback, run it through three quick tests. If a comment fails any of them, ask the giver to rephrase, or rewrite your own comment before you send it.

• Specific — points to ONE thing, not a vague vibe. Bad: this is bad. Good: the second paragraph repeats the first.
• Kind — talks about the work, not the person. Bad: you are lazy. Good: this answer skipped the explanation step.
• Helpful — names a next step the receiver can actually do. Bad: do better. Good: add one example after the topic sentence.