💛 SELGrade 3Lesson 14
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Accepting Feedback

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Learning Objectives

  • 1Distinguish helpful responses to feedback from unhelpful responses
  • 2Explain why accepting feedback with an open mind helps you grow
  • 3Apply the STAR method when receiving feedback
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Mini Lesson

Feedback is information from someone else about how you are doing — what is working, what could be better, and how to improve. Feedback is not an attack on you as a person. It is about your work or behavior, and it is one of the fastest ways to grow. The key is how you receive it.

Helpful responses to feedback

  • Listen without interrupting — let the person finish before you respond.
  • Say thank you — even if the feedback is hard to hear, acknowledging it is respectful.
  • Ask a clarifying question — "Can you tell me more about what I could do differently?"
  • Reflect and try again — use the feedback to make a specific change in your work or behavior.

Unhelpful responses to feedback

  • Getting defensive — "That’s not fair — I worked really hard!" closes you off to learning.
  • Making excuses — explaining why it was someone else’s fault instead of listening.
  • Ignoring it — pretending you did not hear it or doing nothing differently.
  • Attacking back — criticizing the person giving the feedback instead of considering what they said.

The STAR method for receiving feedback

  • S — Stop what you are doing and give full attention.
  • T — Think before you react — take a breath.
  • A — Ask a clarifying question if needed.
  • R — Reflect and decide one thing you will change.
Feedback versus attack — two interpretationsTwo columns. Left: Defensive — hears feedback as an attack, walls go up, growth stops. Right: Open — hears feedback as useful information, listens fully, says thank you, tries again, growth happens.How You Hear FeedbackDefensiveHears feedbackas a personalattackWalls go upMakes excusesAttacks backGrowth stops.OpenHears feedbackas usefulinformationListens fullySays thank youTries againGrowth happens.
Two responses to feedback — Defensive (walls up, growth stops) versus Open (listens, says thank you, tries again, growth happens).
The STAR method for receiving feedbackFour boxes labeled S — Stop and give full attention, T — Think and take a breath, A — Ask a clarifying question, R — Reflect and decide one thing to change.The STAR MethodSStopPut down distractions.Give full attention.Make eye contact.TThinkTake a breathbefore reacting.Is it about my work?AAskAsk a clarifyingquestion if needed."What could I do better?"RReflectDecide one thingyou will change.Then try again.
The STAR method — Stop (give full attention), Think (breathe), Ask (clarify), Reflect (decide one change).
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Self-check: Think of a time you received feedback. Did you respond helpfully or unhelpfully? What would you do differently now?

Vocabulary
Feedback
Information someone gives you about your work or behaviore.g. My coach's feedback helped me improve.
Constructive
Helpful and aimed at helping you grow, not at hurting youe.g. Constructive feedback gives clear next steps.
Defensive
Closed off and ready to argue back instead of listeninge.g. Getting defensive stops me from learning.
Reflect
To think calmly about what you heard and what to do nexte.g. I reflect before I decide what to change.
Clarifying question
A polite question that helps you understand the feedback bettere.g. "Can you give me an example?" is a clarifying question.
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